The following excerpts come from various articles within ENIGMA as well as publications both public and private.
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“You asked about the information I have on the Sommelier, my son. I am happy to give you all the information I know about him.
He hails from A-13 Texas, one of those no-name backwoods spheres. Most who are born in that sphere remain there. You might have heard that he was from A-6 Britannia. I am still determining where that rumor got started.
How he rose to power is of no concern. However, it is hinted that wines and cigars were delivered to certain people who make choices within the House of Cups. Yes, he does keep an entourage of people that he calls Cupbearers. I have it on good authority said that some of his Cupbearers started tending to his grapes fields. I have seen his face within my congregation. Are you surprised that a worldly man like the Sommelier would go to church? Even worldly men and women must confess their sins and wrongdoings. Truthfully, I have seen most of the Council of 21 in my pews. At the same time, they don't make it a weekly or even monthly habit. They still come and later ask forgiveness. It is an Arcane Theocracy, my son. Each member of it worships how they wish.”
-A composition on Villainy, The Vile Chronicle 1884
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ENIGMA After action report: The Occularium
Subject: The Sommelier
Three agents were tasked to gather information about this mid-level villain and his actions within the Occularium. The following pieces of data are considered highly classified.
The High Priestess had hand selected the Sommelier to become the next King of Rods upon relocating the then-current King of Rods to the Hierophant position within the council of 21. Upon receipt of this information, the Sommelier looked joyful. As the night moved on, he was seen having stern words with the High Priestess. Agents needed help to assess what was said during this conversation. It is noted that the High Priestess looked insulted and left the conversation quickly. He was also seen talking with the Empress and the High Priestess sometime after his initial conversation with the High Priestess. (It is this agents view that The Sommelier insulted The High Priestess during this initial conversation.) The Empress queried the Sommelier and looked offended by his response. The Empress gave him a Mark of Judgement. That mark was passed on to the newly installed Hierophant. The Hierophant looked displeased. During the Occularium, arching rights for three heroes of the Grand Alliance were auctioned off. It is noted that the Sommelier caused the bids for all three heroes to go much higher than expected. The Chariot lost a 3rd of his wealth due to the Sommelier’s actions during the auction. The Sommelier was gifted the Mark of Avarice from Justice. The Sommelier was not moved into the King of Rods position at the end of the Occularium.
Additional Note (Oct 2): The Agents used at the Occularium have gone missing after they filed their reports.
Additional Note (Oct 5): We have recovered two missing agents; one is still missing. They were found with a half-full bottle of Frankenstein 1763 and muttering about the “Bride.” Our Doctors have concluded that these agents will never fully recover their minds or ability to speak beyond “Bride.” Frankenstein wines of that year are never to leave the C Sphere. How it ended up in the hands of ENIGMA Agents is unknown. The 3rd Agent is still unaccounted for.
End of Report
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ENIGMA Report
Subject: Cupbearers and Minions of the Vine
The following is a conversation between Agent Dake and a Cupbearer during the Grand Ball of Norrath.
Cupbearer: Agent Dake, The Sommelier sends his regards.
Agent Dake: Excuse me?
Cupbearer: Now, now, we both know that you have been investigating The Sommelier and how he gets his Cupbearers. So, let us retire to a more quiet location on the balcony to have this conversation.
Agent Dake: Out with it. What information do you have?
Cupbearer: I dislike these parties. Such a drab affair, and the wines are simply awful. These poor country wines are no better than grape juice. Now, if you want a fantastical taste experience I recommend a House Aldape merlot.
Agent Dake: You have 10 seconds before I have you arrested for wasting my time!
Cupbearer: *sigh* The information I am about to give you, will be written up by you, and filed away by some nameless bureaucrat in ENIGMA’s offices. No one will ever read it unless they are bored or the Sommelier becomes a true danger to the Grand Alliance, the Arcane Theoracy, or both. So please excuse a girl for having a bit of fun.
Agent Dake: Out with it.
Cupbearer: Fine then. ENIGMA Agents are always great at spoiling the vintage. We come from various worlds, mostly from the A Sphere. Half of us come by way of choice, others come as prisoners from various penal colonies and insane asylums. I won’t bore you with the minute details of our recruitment. Rest assured though, we are all grateful of the new start we have been given.
Agent Dake: Which one are you? Did you choose to become a Cupbearer or were you forced?
Cupbearer: *laughter* Would it even matter? At the end of the 1st week we all look the same, and are happy to be of service. We are tested, pressed, distilled, and tested again during our time in the vineyards. We are all Brothers and Sisters of the Vine. We labor for him, and he provides everything we could ask for. Years later, a select few are pressed again. Those who survive the pressing become his hearing, and his sight. Others are made into his touch, and others become his taste and smell. We bear his cups to whoever he feels needs it. We also bring back cups to him.
Agent Dake: Why are you offering this information so freely?
Cupbearer: The Sommelier heard about your missing agent and feels terrible about it. The Theocracy is very careful about the removal of people and wants you to know that he had nothing to do with it. His collection of Frankenstein wine is secured and all bottles are accounted for. He is hoping this bit of information suffices as an apology.
Cupbearer: One final note. He has information on everyone, and not just on the Council of 21. The Grand Alliance, The Arcane Theocracy, and all the independents are written in his books. Some information he gives and some he withholds. Thus He asked me to pass along to you a tasting of information, Agent Dake. Get rid of your personal airship. Hyde Industries is known for making cheap ships, even cheaper parts, and exorbitant fees to put in said parts. If you want to see your children in college, put that money into their college trusts.
Agent Dake: I don’t know what you are talking about.
Cupbearer: He said that you would deny it. Thus, I have been given the opportunity to offer to you a second tasting. I like you, and grant you this sip. It won’t be as palatable as the 1st. Three names: Christine, Heather, and Edward. You know who they are. Poor dears are on the Mountains of Monte Cristo taking up skiing. Frost is great for making ice wine. However, snow has a tendency to destroy and freeze even the most hardy of vintages.
Agent Dake: I’ll get rid of the airship.
Cupbearer: Good. May your fields be bountiful.
Additional Note: Agent Dake filed this report and immediately asked to use some of his vacation time. We will debrief the Agent once he returns from Monte Cristo.
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The following comes from Doctor Weathersby of Bethlehem Hospital. The patient was picked up wandering the streets of Londontown, outside of Westminster. He was without identification and reeked of wine and cigars. Typically this type of ranting would be beneath our notice. However, the Doctor was quite insistent that we have this copy. Upon further inspection, we noted that the ravings of this madman match up with some information about The Sommelier.
It was him. I know his laugh. That is never ending laugh that echoes through your bones. I saw the fields. They roll on forever and ever. Smiling workers, singing workers, workers toiling without fear. Grapes of every type were on those fields. Ruby grapes from Oz, Blue smoke grapes from Wonderland, and Fiery grapes from Doom. Golden grapes. Oh god, Doctor, the hues of the fields make Dadd's palette seem drab. Bottles of souls lined the cellars. Their wailing still haunts me. Please, do not make me go back to that place. Please, Doctor, I will take any medication you require. But please do not send me back there. Don't you hear it? The song of the field hands. "All we are, we owe him. All we are, we owe him." You have to hear it, Doctor. I am not making this up! That droning tone of lamentation, despair, and great pride. Oh, my gods, he is a priest! A man of the cloth and yet of the world. He blesses those bodies which he has put into the ground. The wines. Those wines are poison to your soul. "All We Are, We owe him." Still, that chant invades my mind and does not give me peace. Please, make the song stop, and the flavor of the wines leave my tongue. I took a sip from his chalice. Doctor, the sip was like drinking the waters of heaven. I had to have more. I snuck into his chamber and tasted every unsealed bottle. The flavors swirled and mixed the depths of my soul! I can still taste them. I can still hear them! The lamentations, grow in my mind. "All We ARE, We OWE HIM!" Those fields were alight with fire and frost. Still, they worked, still, they harvested.
Smiling women, Happy men..tortured beneath those grins. Their skins are freezing and blistering as they suffer for him! ALL WE ARE, WE OWE HIM! Please, Doctor, I implore you! Relieve me of this torment. I see those demonic workers even now. Their eyes are aglow. I see them working in the hellbound vineyards. The crack of a flaming whip sends my soul to suffer. Oh god! They are right behind you. Their tails twitching in the firelight, their hooves pawing at the brimstone-infused dirt. I can smell it. The soil, the sulfur, and the sweat. "ALL WE ARE, WE OWE HIM!"
-Patient 124, Bethlehem Hospital, London, A-3 Britanna.
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The following letter arrived on Col. Fisk’s desk at some point on March 18th. While the Colonel’s office is always guarded and locked, we at ENIGMA are aghast at how someone could have dropped off a basket of wine, cigars, and the letter. The guards have been interviewed. Only the guards were on floors 12-17 of ENIGMA headquarters that day.
Dear Colonel James Fisk
I want to start by saying that your Huntsmen Agents are in a safe spot. Cupbearer Syrah and I were en route back to one of my vineyards when we came upon Agents 724 and 716. ENIGMA typically doesn’t have their agents use luxury transport. So, Serendipity must have arranged for them to be on our same airship. Over a few bottles of wine, they mentioned the Coraline Affair and the subsequent investigation. James, vampires are one of the banes of my existence. I have lost good Cupbearers and Brothers and Sisters of the Vine to the vampirism scourge. Syrah’s cousins were bitten by vampires five years ago. We had a duty to ensure that my business dealings were not affected by further fang problems. We assumed the look of Agents 724 and 716 for this sudden, covert operation. We left your agents in the care of My Brothers of the Vine with detailed instructions not to maim, kill, or injure.
Colonel; Cupbearer Syrah, and I appreciate your hospitality in attending your investigation. It gave My cupbearer ample opportunity to see how your group operates. 1st hand experience is much better than the theater of imagination when learning to blend in with various groups. Syrah remarked that outgassing during a briefing should have been met with a six-month stay at C-59 “Planete Savauge” or a summary demotion at best. James, I did remind her that you run a much different ship and that the stern talking to you gave the Jr. Agent was just the initial sip of the bitter cup he would experience. Also, Syrah would like for me to pass on apologies. She did not mean to take over the interrogation of the Viscount nor Lord Vandenberg. Our group was very passive, and she saw a moment to use the training she had acquired last month. The exuberance Syrah communicated, as well as your supply of suspects, showed me how apt she is at extracting information from those born with a silver spoon in their mouth. She did show a bit of sadness about being unable to get her hands on the latest batch of ENIGMA ciphers left on one of the tables. But do not fret, Colonel. Syrah got the codes right after she dropped off this basket.
Colonel, I would like to make two recommendations. First, prompt your Jr. Agents to speak up more. While I wasn’t aiming to determine who was involved in poor Caroline’s transfiguration, the clues were like overripe grapes hanging in the summer sun. They were quickly taken and enjoyed. Second, find out how and why those Huntsmen Agents were on a luxury airship. I assure you that they were quite cozy when we came upon them that night.
In this basket, you will find a few tokens of our appreciation:
- Three bottles of Merlot a Vaudeville (The 1841 vintage from my personal wine cellar)
- A 25-count box of gordo sized cigars. ( I am just getting into cigar making as a hobby. )
- Three pewter goblets
- A crossbow
- 2500 coal credits (to repay 724. I am keeping the armor, it fits like a glove.)
- And a file on the Vandenbergs (ENIGMA’s files were woefully missing several pieces of information)
May your fields be bountiful,
The Sommelier
P.S. Huntsman Agents 724 and 716 can be found in the London home of Dr. Adams. The Brothers of the Vine placed them in his basement. The agents have a severe hangover. Bring steak cooked medium-rare; the meat helps clear up excess Valentine wine.
P.P.S. Jim, your chair needs to be worked on. The right arm wobbles, the seat is totally worn out, and the back needs more stuffing. Thanks for the ciphers!!!!!!! -Syrah.
“No King Rules Forever” - Anonymous
I am writing you this while on the run. Mija, the fall was inevitable. I am not sure who invited the coven to my hidden vineyards or pointed the air pirates to my secret churches. I will find them. Mark my words, I will punish them. For they are not a noble rot. They are a Phylloxera in my holy appellation. Syrah was the first to fall. I know how you admired her strength in the midst of the vampyre skirmishes. Her tally of vampyres still remains the highest in multiverse. I saw her struck down defending the cathedral of St. Ramon from air pirates. Five air ships turned the grey marbled slabs of the church into her tomb. My vineyards surrounding the church were turned into ash. I had nurtured those vines like they are my own offspring. Surviving Cupbearers from The Holy Seeds, Santa Rosa, St. Blaise, and Our Martyr of the Blessed Suffering have reported in. All have seen the same grey dirigibles turning the ground black. While vampyre airships float nearby and harvest the children of the vine in those areas.
I know you have heard the rumors of my actions during that initial attack. I am going to give you my accounting of what happened and correct some of the rumors which have reached my ears. I was in the vineyards at Santa Symphorosa. Santa Symphorosa was not one of my well known facilities. It laid in the woods of Sphere A-062, in what is considered to be Upper Sphere New York. The Cupbearers there were having issues with the locals planting blueberry bushes amongst my vines. I was in the rectory of the church when I heard the bells. The deep bass DONG, DONG, DONG, coming from the northern end of the building. I hurried outside to see the cause of the racket. Up above the setting sun I saw the issue…..airships. Their black forms marring the apricot and peach colored sky. I yelled at the entranced Cupbearers to move, to mount defenses. We had only a handful of Aether guns stored in the Church. The only other weaponry we had were tools for tending to the vineyards. The Airships came closer. Mija, It wasn't until then that I knew. The Vampyre covens and some unknown Air Pirates had joined forces against me. The vampyre ships were the standard Black and Red. However, the unknown air pirates flew bland grey ships. The totality of the ship, the envelope, the guns, the detailing was all grey. The 1st grey ship hovered above the fields for a moment. It spawned a legion of grey suited troops in the western field. My Cupbearers launched a defense in that area. They were armed with shovels, pitchforks, and hoes. My child, they fought like lions. I know the rumors say that the fight was bloodless and my Cupbearers ran like the first frost from the flame. I can attest that is an abhorrent lie. My men and women went down passionately. They were no match for these fog colored banes however. That western field was turned into a charnel within an hour. The southern and northern areas were soaked with blood from the vampyres feasting in those places. I still see the airships hovering over those fields like bloated ticks. Their grey envelopes shadowing the ground as the ships took torch and tinder to my beloved Vitis Vinifera. My Children of the Vine were ushered off to parts unknown by the coal and bloodstained airships of varying vampyre covens. Some of my retinue and I escaped via the Aethership I had hidden on the edge of the eastern field. I lost Brachetto as soon as we left the church. Mija, you would have been proud. He directed an attack towards himself while we left. He went to the right, distracting five lead colored foes from our route. Brachetto was one of my most ardent Cupbearers. We crossed forty acres dodging aether gun fire and vampyre hunting packs. My beautiful Chardonnay and Bordeaux were lost to one of those packs. I watched from the corner of my eye as they removed six of the blood thirsty vermin when we reached the Aethership. Chardonnay’s blonde hair was sullied with the color of crimson. As we set aloft, I saw her grasping Bordeaux’s pale hand in hers as they died. In that dark moment, my heart is gladdened that they died together. They loved each other so deeply. A moment later I turned my gaze back to Santa Symphorosa from the air. I knew at that moment what Lot’s wife felt when she saw Sodom being destroyed. I was frozen in fear and anguish as I saw the buildings being raided and razed. Days later I returned to Santa Symphorosa. I was able to see the full scope of the destruction and death at that time. The main buildings were ruined. The grounds of the vineyard were salted. I blessed the rubble to be the final resting place of the fallen on both sides. By the grace of heaven, my well-hidden storehouses and vaults remained untouched from that raiding party.
My child…My anger knows no depth.
Syrah warned me about the vampyres and their connections with smaller air pirate groups. Their multi pronged attack was bold and a smart move. I still have forces and resources. My main lair has not been discovered, nor has my personal sphere world been compromised.
Santa Symphorosa had a secret. It housed the personal information on every member of the Council of 21. I moved these documents back to My main vaults. The Council is not pleased to hear about these attacks. Most are now worrying if they will be next. Several are planning attacks of thier own.
There will be a reckoning. Syrah, Brachetto, Chardonnay, Bordeaux, and Moscato will be avenged.
Yours in villainy and wine,
The Sommelier